‘I remember the immediate feeling of darkness,’ recalls Laura Buckingham, 37, sitting by the window of her Kent home, describing her reaction to her first miscarriage – one of 11 she has had experienced to date. “It was so scary.” For Bex Gunn, also 37, there was an overriding sense of bewilderment. “When I was at my 12 week ultrasound and the sonographer said there was no heartbeat I was so embarrassed not knowing what was going to happen or the size of the baby to this gestation”, she explains, speaking of her photography studio. in East Sussex. “As someone who had already had children, I did not ignorantly think that a miscarriage would be part of my story.”
Driven by a desire to reach out to others who have found themselves in this darkness, to offer comfort where we so often find shock, sadness and misunderstanding, Buckingham and Gunn co-founded the podcast The worst girl gang ever, which has offered advice and comfort to countless women since its launch in July 2020. In August, they are expected to release a manual (with the same title as their podcast) that aims to offer practical and emotional help to those who are going through a pregnancy loss. “To improve support, we need to start doing it earlier,” says Gunn. “We need to make the loss of a baby part of the normal conversation. It should be recognized as well as What to expect when you are pregnant.”
Buckingham and Gunn are part of a growing group of women who are helping to change miscarriage’s place in public consciousness. Speaking from home via Zoom, BBC News global health correspondent Tulip Mazumdar, 41, explains how her own recurring pregnancy losses prompted her to make the documentary Miscarriage: the search for answers, which first aired this summer. She says her naivety saw her getting on a plane to Moria refugee camp in Lesvos as she suffered a miscarriage. “I think I was probably in shock, but the rhetoric is always that an early loss is like a long time,” she explains. If there had been any complications, she said, her own life could have been in danger.
Since she wrote about her experience in vogue in 2018, this August Pippa Vosper will publish Beyond Grief: Navigating the Journey of Pregnancy and Baby Lossa book – which includes many personal accounts of miscarriage, from Leandra Medine Cohen to Elizabeth Day – inspired by the tragic loss of her son, Axel, five months into her pregnancy in 2017. “Let it be four weeks , a pregnancy test or an eight-month birth, people just want to tell you what happened,” Vosper says. “And there’s not a lot of room for that in social circles.” time, the first novel by psychotherapist Anna Hogeland, The long answeralso released next month, explores “the ways in which women are bound and separated by their shared and contrasting experiences of pregnancy, abortion, miscarriage and infertility.”